Us

Hands Touching / Lips lightly grazing Me. You —Us Together Ours souls touch / Meet in the middle Become One Your face / the stubble rough against my palm The scratch is good / soft is the moment Love Skin on Skin/Hands mouth everywhere Music is the catalyst for the movement Guitar plays/my body arches/Fingers like feathers caress Our blood flows as sweet and smooth as the lyrical tone of a flute Passion The connection is deep/You are the one No one compares/We are whole. Together as one Meshed in the moment/Fluid, Silken, Beautiful Complete I love you is whispered/Loving you is felt In the moment together/You Me — Us Intimacy I feel you with my eyes/I touch you with my scent Meant for this moment/You. Me Us. We. Together Overwhelming Softness/My soul is open Hands stroking/Lips skimming/Flutes playing You are the one. The only one. Tears fall gently/Heart swells with love Forever 7.15.2002

The Good, the Bad and Ugly

I have to be willing to accept Each separate part of me Whether it’s Good or Bad Or heaven forbid; the Ugly

I know that I’m not perfect But it’s how I want to be I know that will never happen But it’s what I long to see.

The good inside is deep inside The bad closer to the top The ugly I fear will rear its head And blow the lid right off.

The child inside is the goodness It’s really what I need The fears are what I hold on too And nurture like tiny seeds.

The badness that I speak of Is the message I toss around Upside down, inside out My heart it throws to the ground.

The ugly, oh the ugly Of this I’m scared to speak It’s the secrets I’ve locked inside me It’s the key for which I seek.

I know that when I find it This key for which I seek That will begin the journey The one that sets me free.

You see, the Good the Bad and the Ugly Are just the metaphors for my life If I continue to hold them close I will never be free of strife.

Of these three parts I wonder How much is really me The Good, the Bad, the Ugly What will the answer be?

I notice how I fluctuate Between the questions and the answers It seems that I am scared to let go— Of the Ugly that’s the Cancer

The time has come or at least is near For me to let it go. Release the Ugly Forgive the Bad Give the Good a chance to grow. 7.12.2007

Lonely

I feel lonely in this house full of people. Alone with my pain and thoughts of failure. You say you love me but stress that no love is unconditional. Right now I feel the conditional part of your love.

If your happiness is not my responsibility why does it weigh so heavily on me?

Why do I feel that I am the one that needs to make amends? If you are not ready to talk about it where does that leave me? The one responsible; alone with my thoughts and weak apologies.

Alone. All alone with this pain and yes. Anger I’m afraid to admit it but I am angry with you right now. Why am I afraid? It has to be Right. Good. Perfect. Or you’ll leave… Right?

You say you won’t but for some reason it’s a truth I can’t afford to believe.

Twelve years you say and still I don’t believe. How can I expect you to understand when you are not me? Twelve years is nothing compared to a life time of abandonment. I am sorry but it’s true. Again. You see? I am apologizing.

When does it stop being my fault? When do I get a reprieve? When does the forgiveness come? When do I feel the relief?

I do not see the light at the end of this tunnel. 1.28.2008