Where the Hell are my Rose colored glasses?

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I quit my job.
It’s a pattern of mine. There’s no denying it.
Every two years or so I quit my job for one reason or another.
It wasn’t a big deal in the past as I was married to someone that made a lot of money and I didn’t have to work.

That is no longer my truth.
But it didn’t stop me from quitting. It actually made it feel necessary.
I was/am having a nervous breakdown of sorts. I just can’t do it anymore.
People constantly asking me for things, expecting it to get done when I can barely get myself dressed in the morning.

I’m not sleeping.
I’ve gained weight.
I am fifty years old and SINGLE!
Seriously?
This is my life?

It’s been 14 months since the day he announced the end of our marriage.

Yes, “ANNOUNCED”

He didn’t ask me to participate in the conversation or the decision.
The only choice I had was to fight it but what would be the point.
I don’t want to be married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to me.

This is my life if viewed from the lenses of a pessimist:

I am unemployed.
Not sleeping.
Gaining weight.
Single at 50.

And Pissed off.

This is my life if viewed from the lenses of an optimist.

I quit my job to pursue my passion for writing and painting!
I don’t need as much sleep as I used to because I am so excited about my future!
I’ve put on a little weight and everyone says I look “healthier”!
I’m single again and that opens up a lot of amazing love opportunities!
Sure I get angry at times but that’s healthy, right?

Both scenarios are my reality… it just depends on the day.

This entry was posted in Career, Life after 50, Life After Divorce, Loss and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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